Tragedy

What words of comfort would any of us have for the parents, grandparents, siblings and friends of the little children that died yesterday? What words of comfort do we have for ourselves when the veil is lifted from our eyes and we realize that we are all extremely vulnerable to the attack of evil? As most of you know I'm a fighter and today I shall fight evil the only way I know how - with words of truth. Some of these words come from other sources - the Bible, Max Lucado, Mr. Rogers, but mainly it's a compilation of thoughts from a mere human, that is an inhabitant on a very dark planet, whose source of Light is trying to speak. When Moses was born what was the Pharaoh's command? All baby boys were to be killed. Moses lived. When Jesus was born what was the command of King Herod? All baby boys were to be killed. Jesus lived. Everywhere we turn Light is trying to be extinguished by darkness. It's maddening when we try to make sense of this. The sound of the lies can be deafening. The stories of the tragedies and the sadness draw us, but the still small voice of the Light is what is at the core of our souls. Let that small voice of the Light rise up in you today. Let us shout from the mountaintops that evil will not prevail. Let us remember that our children will grow up to be LIGHTHOUSES that will shine in the darkness if we continue to fill them with truth and goodness. Let us throw off the spirit of heaviness for the garment of praise. You see, Satan wants us to think we are powerless and vulnerable and the attacks are eminent and harsh, but we must remember we can chase him down and shove his nasty tail back into hell where he belongs. We must remind of him of his future. God is the victor. The innocent were slayed yesterday, just like they were before the coming of Moses (the deliverer) and Jesus (the Savior) so be encouraged my brothers and sisters. God will bring deliverance and salvation to this land. I believe with all my heart that those children did not die in vain. I have to believe that their precious, innocent souls ushered in the Spirit of the Living God to vanquish evil. God is awake, alive and will squash the head of the serpent. Rise up prayer warriors - we cannot sit back any longer and wring our hands in hopes it will go away - God is calling us to fight in the Spirit. Put down your man made weapons and fight the way God is calling you to fight. Pray, lift up holy hands, teach your children to love the Lord Your God with all their hearts, souls and strength. Teach your young men to be men of valor and honor. Teach your girls to walk in the shoes of our sisters Deborah, Ruth, Sarah, Anna and Priscilla. Bless - do not curse your enemies and always, always, always proclaim that GREATER is He that is in us than he that is in this world. I give you my heart today Lord - fresh and anew. Let your Light shine through me. Teach me how to change the face of this planet for good. Do not let me be a tool of the enemy, but an instrument of Your love. Bless those that are weeping and thank you for the compassion to weep with them. Comfort them and thank you today for Your mighty hand that still holds the scepter of control. In the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

How did He do it?

This world is full of bad news sometimes - lost jobs, bad reports from the doctor, knowledge of what teens are doing on the weekends and scary financial situations. Let us not forget our brothers and sisters overseas who are starving, walking miles for fresh water and battling sex trafficking crimes while dying for their faith. I feel the pain of this world and many times don't know what to do with the pain. I told the Lord yesterday, "This is a hard place to live sometimes." His response was, "Yeah ... tell me about it - they killed my Son." How DID Jesus live here? Look through the gospels and see the concern He had for the lost and dying, the early morning prayer sessions, the rebukes and we get a taste of how hard it was for Him at times. Mind you, He KNEW what heaven looked like and He came to this place to live.

Then, God began to remind me first of the beauty of this earth, that still belongs to Him. Children laughing, spring flowers, green mountains, the ocean, friends, my home, and my family. Secondly, He gave me hope with this one word - love. That is how we get through this life on earth without losing hope - love. It's how Jesus did it too. Love, love, love. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love your friend who just lost their job. Help a child in a struggling nation through Compassion or World Vision. Tell a teenager that you care for them and are there for them no matter what. Love God no matter what. No matter what the situation is love Him. Pour it all out to Him. He will rush in with peace and fill you with His love and we will get through the muck and mire with love as our coat. "Put on the garment of praise." While I was writing this blog a song was playing in the background and I feel like the lyrics give us all a commission to keep fighting the good fight. "We are the light of the world, we are the city on the hill and we gotta, we gotta, we gotta let our light shine." I know, now more than ever, this earth is not my home. I also know that, while I'm here, I want to make this earth sweeter and the only way to do that is LOVE.

LOVE to you all,
Ann
xoxoxox

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

Hahahahahahaha

April Fool's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Time of Year

I just love this time of year - don't you? School is winding down, Spring is here, the sweet rains of March and April that remind me of mercy falling on me, and most of all Easter. I love, love, love Easter. As a child I loved it for the Easter bunny and the really warm, fuzzy church services. As a teen I loved it because my daddy would always buy me a new dress. Mind you, sweet Aubrey will still take me out to buy a new Easter dress if I ask. :) As an adult I really GOT the meaning of Easter. I love to go back to the Old Testament and read about the Passover lamb God sent for the Israelites - rescuing them out of bondage and captivity. Isn't that what Jesus is? He is our Passover lamb - the one that rescued us, through His blood from death and dying! Hallelujah. Knowing that my God LIVES while other gods are buried or contained in metal or wood casings brings fresh hope to my reason for living. Today, Easter is a bit sweeter. It's the last day of March and as I look back over the last three months I realize that there was a symbolic death going on in my life. Death of fear, death of cancer, and death of pride. Today, I'm alive. I'm alive because of Him. I'm alive because 2000 years ago HE decided to allow people to beat him and crucify Him for me. I don't know if I'm weird, but I love Good Friday services. I cry like a baby and I'm emotionally shredded after these services, but something in me needs to remember how beautifully awful His death was. To me, it makes Sunday morning much sweeter. Easter symbolizes the fruition of God's plan of salvation. Go back to Exodus and remind yourself of the horrible bondage that God's people were in and how He heard their cries and sent a deliverer. How he punished those who hurt His people, how He rescued His people from death through the blood of a lamb, how He parted the Red Sea and gave them bread from heaven. Then ... fast forward to the gospels of the New Testament and see how the blood of THE Lamb rescues us from death, how He parted the curtain of the temple to GET TO US, and how His Holy Spirit gives us the bread of God's Word to comfort and console us. It's all there - Old Testament to New Testament. So, go and enjoy the Passion week - Maundy Thursday (the day of Jesus' last Passover meal), Good Friday (the day of His crucifixion), and Sunday - glorious Easter Sunday - celebrate. Dance, sing, praise, reflect, enjoy Him. Let the newness of the spring season resonate in your heart that He can make all things new. He still heals, delivers,and saves.
Love you much,
Ann
xoxoxox

Go back?

The Lord has inspired me through various outlets this morning ... 1."Faith will rise as we wait upon the Lord," a verse from a popular Christian song by Chris Tomlin. 2. Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost for His Highest" devotional for today - March 19th. 3. The story of the Exodus of God's people from Egypt and lastly, the parables of the Ten Virgins and the bags of gold - Matthew 25:1-30.

I won't bore you with the sordid details of my first thoughts this morning, just know they were quite pitiful. I was rehashing all that has happened to my mind and body since January 5th and feeling quite sorrowful about it. Since I was a camp counselor for three summers the first song to get me out of my funk was, "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice!" With resolve I grabbed my coffee, weighed myself, (15 lbs gone)and sat down with Oswald and Jesus. The first cries of my heart were, "I want to go back to the way it was before all this ... when is it going to be over!!!" Mr. Chambers reminded me, "Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One Who is leading." Ahhhh ... now that is some serious Holy Spirit breath to my weak bones. Then I began to think of the Israelites and how wandering in the wilderness, without acknowledging who HAD them and was keeping them, had to be miserable. And then WHAMMO! The Lord pulled out two of my favorite parables - the ten virgins and the bags of gold. Both of these parables (read them NOW if you've forgotten the stories), are teaching us about being ready, trusting our Master, and using what He's given us instead of shirking from the responsibility. Ding, ding, ding! I realized that I will never go back to the way it was and God doesn't want me to desire that. He wants me to move forward in His calling and this journey will have been in vain if I try to bury it and return to the way things were. I can't let that happen. We all go through trials and hardships and we should USE those experiences to draw ourselves and others closer to our Source of Power. Why is the natural inclination of humans to hide their weaknesses? I say flaunt it baby! Let the world know what Jesus has done for you. Take those bags of gold and double, triple or better yet, quadruple them so that the Kingdom of God will be known by all. WHAMMO .... God just reminded me that our hardships may seem like the pits to us, but they are BAGS OF GOLD to Him. Our blood, sweat and tears on this earth are gold to God and He will let us spend it if we will just open our hearts and mouths! Wow. Ain't God good. I woke up at 7:30 feeling like poo, it's 8:27 right now. In just one hour God has taken my rags and turned them into Bags of Gold. SHAZAM! That is something to smile about wouldn't you say? Will He do it for you? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!

Love you,
Ann
xoxoxoxo

Ahhhhh

Hello ... I'm back! Today is my precious Garrison's 8th birthday and the memories of the day he was born have been flooding my soul all day. All I can say is THANK YOU GOD for loaning him to me for his life on earth. I am overwhelmed with how blessed I am. Mind you, the enemy of my soul, has been trying to remind me of all that's gone wrong and the verse, "take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ," has been my mantra. TAKE captive EVERY thought! Last week, when I was going through a really tough time emotionally I finally got so sick of it that I cried from my innermost being, "HELP ME GOD!!!!" Guess what? He did. Within a second, no exaggeration, I was healed of the emotional despondency I'd felt for 48 hours. I believe in healings because I've known people to be healed, including my husband, but I didn't believe it had never happened to me. So, through this entire roller coaster ride I've been on for 3 weeks I get to proclaim a healing that I recognized. Then I realized how many times God HAS healed me when I did NOT recognize it. The day I gave my heart to Him, and He healed my brokenness. The two times I gave birth and was up walking within one hour. Now that's some healin' ain't it sistas!!! :) The day I married my soulmate my broken, lonely heart was healed. There are countless other miracles that God has performed in my life, and I've allowed them to go unrecognized. As I sit in my living room, with my Japanese cherry blossom tree in FULL bloom and listen to my little boy and his buddies play and see my sweet kitties snuggled up in the windowsills of my home I can't help but say 'ahhhh' because my life is sweet. Today Lord Jesus I choose to recognize You in it all. I see you Lord - thank You for opening the eyes of my heart. All the doubt, worry and anxiety about what tomorrow may hold will be taken captive and I will MAKE it obedient to You. I get to choose that so I have decided to follow Your Word today and not my own. I love You Lord. Thank You.

Thank you my friends for your prayers, your love and your support. I go back to work on Tuesday and I'm praying that I'll still find time to write in my blog. I don't feel like this journey is over and I know God is still teaching me. I covet your prayers this week - I need supernatural strength to do this and I hope that all of you know I will do the same for you whenever you need it. Please always be encouraged that YOU are His favorite. I have a dear friend that kids me all the time that I think I'm Jesus' favorite and guess what --- I think I am, but I think you are too. :) Don't ever let that devil get too far in your head - squash him like a bug by taking those thoughts of defeat and anxiety and MAKING them obedient to Christ. You can do it!
Love you,
Ann
xoxoxo

Do I dare?

Oh my ... for those of you that are my faithful blog readers hang on, because this blogpost may have a different flavor to it. I've hit an emotional speed bump. I went to school (my job) yesterday and realized that my AP students were waaaay behind, because of me, on their essay writing skills. I could go on and on and tell you why they are lacking and you could try to convince me otherwise, but facts are facts. I came home feeling like a failure and quite overwhelmed. Overwhelmed because I've had cancer, major surgery, I'm still weak physically, I want to be a stay home mom again, I've got to go back to work, there are about 5 weeks left to get 113 high school students ready for testing, and just plain defeated. I tried so hard to call on the Lord and think RIGHT - I tried to think about how beautiful my children are, how healthy I am, how wonderful my husband is and all the other advice I would give to someone in my state of mind. However, the valley remained. I cried, went to bed early, felt sorry for myself, cried some more and got up this morning and cried again. I'm actually crying now as I write this - forgive me for the vulnerability, I told you this one would be different. I guess THIS is part of recovery too. I guess the way I feel is part of life for all of us sometimes. What in the world do we do with feeling like a failure and feeling like our circumstances are going to crush us? Let me tell you what I did and am doing. I grabbed a great devotional book called, "Just Enough LIGHT for the Step I'm On," read my Bible, prayed, slept, told my husband about how I felt, prayed some more and slowly I'm coming out of it. I'm realizing, through all these outlets, that it's not about me. It's not about messing up or even suceeding - it's about who is holding my hand when I do these things. It's about Who is the One guiding me through and into these situations. I have to turn to Him, cry really hard and say, "Help me Daddy." I know that He will. I have proof, because He's done it before - over and over. So, when it comes to teaching DBQ's and CCOT's in AP World History I will do my best and the rest is in His hands. In order to have peace in this world we must turn our fears over to Him. I will pray for you to do this today. I will pray for your peace. I will ask the Lord of heaven to guide you in your steps today and I would appreciate the same. Much love.
Ann
xoxoxo