Sleeplessness

I have been awake since 4 a.m. for some weird reason. When I finally realized sleep was not going to be part of my morning I began to pray. I could feel God prodding me to discuss some things with Him and it was an interesting dialogue for about an hour. I skirted around real issues I felt He was bringing to light while playing the part of "the guilt ridden Christian." Well, He doesn't fall for that kind of "fake humility" and I felt like He wanted me to be specific. I didn't hear these exact words, but something like this "Ann, if you're sorry for something then say I'm sorry that I ___________." So, I began to think about things in my life that I really want to change and asked for specific forgiveness. Well, then .... I began to feel some heaviness lift and I began to thank God for tons of things that flooded my mind. I then had an "ah-ha" moment! So many times we (I) am so scared we've done something wrong that we just babble on and on to God, but never really get to the heart of what we've done. Why? I think that varies by person, but mainly because we are told being wrong is a bad, bad thing and to avoid it at all costs. Well, today know that Jesus died to give you the freedom to be wrong and repent. We don't have to stay wrong - we get to repent and start over. His mercies are new every morning. Praise Him. I believe God is saying that this is how unbelievers can tell us apart from hypocrites, the lost, the malicious, and the liars. If we as Christians can never admit we are wrong we will be seen as hypocrites by the lost. When we are truly humble and realize that our only way to God is through repentance and acceptance of God's grace the lost will flock to our churches. :)