Why?

Why is it that I stay away from talking about God? It's been quite a few days since I've written and I'm sorry. I've hesitated to write and I'm not sure why. It's probably because I've not really taken the time to be with God. It seems the only time I really just sit and think is .... well, when I'm going to the bathroom. Sorry for "too much information," but that is when it's quiet and no kids are around. As I thought I realized how desperately I longed for time to myself and time alone with God. I thought back to my "single" days when I had quiet mornings with coffee and God. Now, my mornings are filled with making lunches, fixing breakfast, rushing around and speed skating out the door. I realized that I don't ever want to lose the time I have now with my kids, but I do need to figure out how to get more time alone with God. I thought about getting a hotel room and just staying there for an entire weekend all alone - we don't have the money - so that won't work. I thought about getting up early enough to have time with God alone - that would mean getting up at 6 a.m. and I'm not so sure about that. Then I realized .... it's never going to be convenient - not like it was when I just had to worry about me. It's going to take sacrifice on my part - going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. I still even thought of the excuse - but the Olympics are on - I don't want to go to bed early - I'll start this next week! Can you hear the whine in my voice? Yadda, yadda, yadda - excuses, excuses, excuses. Sorry that there's not a lot of closure on this blog entry. I'm still figuring out how to choose Him over me. I guess that's always a process. I guess that's why I need to remember it's not about the destination, but the journey. I guess you should remember that too. Be encouraged. We are all trying to get to Him and lose ourselves in the process. :)

Fragrance

Ahhh ... don't we just love fragrances? I couldn't help but think of them today - I've been cooped up in the house with 4 boys - my 2 sons, my husband and Huck, our cat for days, due to the weather. If any of you have ever lived in a house with 4 males you know that it can sometimes stink. I have some delightful home freshener (canned fragrance) that saved me from some of the stench temporarily. I have glade plug-ins, Air Wick plug-ins, Lysol, scented freshener, matches, etc. to mask any unwanted foul smell. While pondering upon all my smell-ums (that's what my sweet momma calls them) I thought - what "fragrances" do I use to mask my stinky behavior issues? Hmmm ... here's a short list
1. When I fuss at my husband I use the fragrance "being hormonal"
2. When I stay up too late and wake up grumpy, I use eau de "waking up on the wrong side of the bed"
3. When I ignore God, my most recent fav fragrance is "I'm so busy with grad. school"
4. When I lose my patience with my kids I especially love to cry while squirting the not so divine scent of "I just have so much on me."
The list could go on and on, but I think I need to get to the point.

So what kind of fragrance or smell am I to God? Here's the hope I found in His word. "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life." 2 Corinthians 2:14, 15 I also found scriptures in the book of Revelation about the prayers of the saints being incense before God Almighty!

So, here's what I think. I get into a sin, I try to spray MY fragrance on it to make it go away. The smell just keeps coming back so what's a girl to do? According to the scriptures, if I pray and realize that Jesus is the only fragrance I need, I'm guessing the stench will subside.

Fruit

Mark 11 is packed with challenges and promises about bearing fruit. Two of my favorite Jesus stories take place in this chapter. First, the triumphal entry on a colt - there is just something spectacular about Palm Sunday. Secondly, the account of Jesus driving the moneychangers from the temple is the first time I see Him really mad. As I was reading Mark 11 I noticed that Jesus got really upset with the fig tree not producing fruit OUT of season. That seemed a little harsh to me. I can see why Jesus would get mad in the temple. Those folks were robbing the people and were turning His house into a den of thieves - that's bad. But a fig tree not producing fruit when it's not time to produce fruit? That makes no sense to me. Then ... I realized ... this has nothing to do with the tree - it has everything to do with the Pharisees - the high religious. They, the Pharisees, are the tree that bears no fruit and their "excuse" is that Jesus is not "in season" so they are not required to bear fruit. It all makes sense now. 1. Jesus comes riding in on a donkey (not exactly the way the Pharisess thought the Messiah would be showcased). 2. Jesus drives out the thieves from HIS temple, yet again infuriating the Pharisees with His supposed presumptuousness. 3. Jesus kills the fruitless tree. Jesus is rocking their world. He would NOT fit into their box. He will not fit into our box either now will he? He asks us to do crazy stuff - out of season. I know for me, I have always felt like I would be a foreign missionary. Well, God has asked me instead to stay put in little 'ole Salem, VA and BEAR FRUIT for Him. I have a choice. Will I wait until I'm on the mission field and in my "season" before I give Him glory? I will give him glory now - I will be a missionary to Salem, VA. I will determine in my heart today to give Him glory in all that I say and do. The encouraging part in Mark 11 starts in vs. 22 as Jesus' response to the disciples "Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it shall be granted him. Therefore, I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they shall be granted you." So, let's be the one that walks with Jesus, even when it doesn't seem like we should.

Cupcakes

I baked strawberry cupcakes tonight. The box said to fill each cup in the pan 2/3 full. I don't know if any of you have ever baked cupcakes, but I just do not know how to fill each little cup in the pan exactly 2/3 full. So, my cupcakes came out all puffed up over their little cup or they were very small due to baking shrinkage. But there was one ... one perfect little cupcake that was just round enough on top, just the right size. The kind of cupcake a momma stands back and says, "ahhhh ... the perfect cupcake!" So, I got out my cooling rack out- cooled my crazy, puffy, super small, one singular perfect cupcake - so that I could put the icing and sprinkles on each of these little guys. As I began the process of delicately removing the cupcakes, I pay extra close attention to my perfect little cherub cupcake. After realizing that delicate and removal of cupcakes are not synonymous, I turned the pan over and shook them out. Every one of those blasted cupcakes came out with extreme ease - except for the angel cupcake. That little guy was bound and determined to stay put - no matter the coaxing. I realized then ... God was speaking. Yes ... I do hear God at very random times. So many times I am that little picture perfect cupcake (or so I like to think). Not that I am EVER perfect, but sometimes my main goal in life is to be perfect in my little pan (life), giving no thought to my Lord who wants to shake me out of that hot, prison I think is safe. Life is so much more beautiful without the constraints of a hot pan - just think of the icing and sprinkles that awaits all of us if we will just remember to be puffy, super small and rather inadequate - I've found that Jesus can use me much more as a goofy lookin' cupcake then when I try to be perfect.

Children

"Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it at all." Mark 10:15 I started to think about all the things kids (specifically mine) really do understand.
1. They belly laugh over the silliest things.
2. They know Jesus will chase away the boogey man.
3. They know it's not nice to say people are fat.
4. They believe the Bible is true - all of it - without having to be SHOWN.
5. They will pray and believe that God really does hear.
6. They know that momma and daddy will always have enough money to take care of their needs.
7. They love their friends and draw pictures to show it.
8. If they want something they ask for it.
9. They think their grandparents are way cool.
10. They think their parents are way goofy, but that's their favorite part!
11. When they get hurt - they run to their momma or daddy - unashamed.
12. When they totally blow it they rat themselves out 'cause it just feels better to tell.
I seriously could go on and on, but I think it boils down to this - I really should pay more attention to their ways - I think the kingdom of God and all it's secrets are in dinosaur pajamas right down the hall.